Saturday, August 29, 2009

Two Face

I had promised myself to continue writing blogs. That seems to be the only prompting for this blog, a promise. I sit here, again, with no compelling thoughts that i must share before they split my thorax, screaming like the infamous little friend in the blockbuster hit, Alien (and Alien 2, and 3). We'll shouldn't promises be something worth writing about? Yes... the answer you were looking for is Yes.

I think promises are metaphors of faith. Sometimes being faithful is simply sticking to your commitments and promises. Even though they make no sense, even though there is no reason or inner compulsion, you should stick to your promises. Just like faith, faith is not faith if it is only convenient, and sensible. Both faith and promise require follow through no matter what, and for no reason. Half of life is presence, showing up, continuing in your commitments.

Now let me express to you my dualistic mind by turning the coin. If half of life is just showing up, and all you do is show up, you have only living half a life. The other half i think comes with expressing the seven virtues of presence. Recently i have been reading Foster and Beebe's book, "Longing For God," and it continues to blow my mind. I am constantly realizing that much of what i have thought, believed, experienced is congruent to those of the expressions of our Church Fathers. Thank you Evagrius of Ponticus for outlaying the Seven Virtues. I would also like to call them the Seven Practices of Presence. The other half of life comes when you are present and expressing temperance, justice, courage (fortitude), and prudence (wisdom), faith, hope, and love. A practical expression of these is possible in every single moment and every interaction of our day.

I'm not sure which is harder. What i do know, is that i am about to be late for a dinner with my beloved family if i don't stop this blog in five seconds so maybe right now promises are harder, but i doubt it because

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Bold as Love

It has been over a month since my last blog. I don't know why, I've played all kinds of positions on the baseball diamond of life over the past month. Surely there has been some worth while thoughts worth recording, i don't know why they never got their blogging recognition. But i finally figured that i needed to get back into the habit, especially if i am planning to keep a steady, organized, and thorough blog while i am in Africa; i should get some practice now, at least habitually. So here goes the beginning of a habit (they say that psychologically it takes 30 days to create a habit... i always thought it was seven repetitions... oh well, either way, raise your glass with me as i begin and toast to habitual blogging!)

The last few days I have been pondering a question we must all ponder if we are to call ourselves Christians. Where is Jesus? How do I love Him now, today?
I walked along the beach yesterday pondering this question while waves crashed and proved a distraction for my senses, allowing my mind to run freely. "If only Jesus was still visible!" I said. If He had a physical body, if i could talk to him, if i could feed him, it would be so easy! I can serve my apartments by cleaning the house or kitchen, but i can't even do that for my King and Savior? Do we as a culture even know the fullness of Kingship if we live in a culture that is anti-serfdom. That's a tangent for another day, maybe tomorrow's blog? Anyway, why is it that i readily move grease from the stove-top to the paper towel, and then the trash out of love of cleanliness and my friends well-beings, but can't i can't figure out how to love Jesus?

Then, alike the arrival of golden toast, the epiphany flies and settles on the springs of my cortex. Didn't Jesus break the bread, and call it his body? Whoa... that takes toast to a whole new level... No stop it Thomas, get back on topic. Okay wait, His body is the Church right? Well shoot, what are his eyes? His eye's are all those who believe? But what about God sending rain on the righteous and unrighteous? Uh, is God's body everyone? Or the Church? The Church is his body, but God loves all, being apart of a body is a choice... maybe...

An angler throws his lure, preferably fly, into a pool of water. He places it in that spot because he can sense, or see the shadow of a fish just below the shimmering surface. He longs for the fish to follow curiosity and hook its snout, he longs to get a glimpse and experience the being he has sought and hunted with skill, he longs for his own curiosity to be satisfied. It is with that same longing that i have longed to see the eyes of Jesus. But i am beginning to believe that when i gaze into eyes of another person, i see the eyes of God, I see Jesus' eyes, the body of Christ. The metaphor is less metaphysical than i assumed. I hope to make this a reality.

When i was younger (ha) I believed a line to be true. To butcher it politely, it went something like this, "The confident, the strong look people in the eyes when you talk to them. It shows respect." Somehow over the years i lost the ability to hold a gaze. When I look someone straight in the eyes i feel something, I'm almost scared. It's almost sacred. I can't explain it. But I think it shows love. Its hard for me to look someone in the eyes continuously, while simultaneously speaking. But i will try. Pecos does this well, he always has, and when he does not, i know there is something wrong. To me, love is bold, Jesus is bold. To look someone in the eyes and understand that those are Christ's eyes peering back at you, is bold. Lets see how this goes.