Here is a little poem for you all Westmont people.
DTR (determine the relationship)
It's come to be that time
when the garden needs water
when warm sheets need a friend
when stars need to rise
over the great expanse, a blanket is spread
containing a millions of twinkles
and two below resting on a blanket.
Saturday, April 25, 2009
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Lazy Thursday
Welp, if i had to pick a theme song for the last two weeks it would be "Roller Coaster." And if i had to pick a movie scene, it would probably be Will Farrell playing Ron Burgundy in Anchorman right after his dog Baxter gets kicked off a bridge, he is hysterically (in both meanings) screaming at the top of his lungs, "I'm in a glass case of emotion!!!!!!"
On another note, I love proctoring exams. It pays well, i get two hours to do homework or something else such as blogging, and i get to encourage a bunch of students as they stress about their rather unimportant grade and test. I love encouraging them when they look up at me, almost all of them do at some point. I usually will try out my new funny faces on them, or just revert back to some classics like "the high eye brows," or the "semi smile," or the "wide mouth," or the "shoulder shrug to eye role to standing and doing a back flip off the desk"... i might change that one to "The Pecos." I have been working on my Korinne face, the awkward "i'm confused, and a little disappointed" look, but it just hasn't come to fruition yet, at its not the most encouraging during an exam. Maybe I'll have to get some training from her.
One of my favorite things about proctoring is just watching people's reactions. I had no idea people had such similar reactions, i think i recognize all their faces and actions as something i have done before too. The "look at the ceiling an talk to yourself," the "head super glued to palm until i remember this little detail i studied," or the "oh gosh... I'm hungover, and i think someone knows it" (that one i haven't experienced so much... or at all really), "or the "if i just keep staring I will remember, if i just keep staring i will remember... if i just keep staring i will.... HEY I REMEMBER!!". But anyway, this is just an example of a continued life lesson i am learning.
People react similarly and very basic tendencies. And, i am not crazy for just acting as i feel or reacting as i do sometimes, for that is all these people in front of me are doing. But, this is always counterbalanced with the truth that people are soooo different from me, and each other. What i know is different than what someone else knows, and my reaction is going to be different. I need to be confident in who i am, and focused in my present moment, not matter what that may be, reacting honestly, but also evaluating that reaction, and interpreting. Sometime, i can trust my reactions immediately, other times i need to keep my mouth shut and evaluate before speaking or acting. It is an ebb and flow, a trial and error process. There are going to be mistakes, and successes. Life is so complex, and so very simple. There is nothing like the human life.
Random: Everybody thinks and feels. Everybody determines what they feel based on how they think sometimes, and everybody determines what they think based on how they feel sometimes. The question is just which one comes first more frequently. I think it is based on which chemicals in the brain are exercised more and have been exercised more through out thier life. Since there is a history of practice and neurological path ways established (based on those chemical reactions) then those paths are more frequently taken over the other, and it is easier for that person to take that path. This theory is based on a few things: 1, very little knowledge on the details of psychoneurology. 2, people are creatures, and alike all other creatures, will most commonly react how it is easiest for the body to react; In other words, people are lazy. 3, That it actually is easier to react primarily one of the processes (i.e. thought to feel, or feel to thought) before the other. I think people could sit and control thier reactions and actions if given the time to dwell, and that does not make them a thinker for doing so, for both much feeling and thinking would occur.
On another note, I love proctoring exams. It pays well, i get two hours to do homework or something else such as blogging, and i get to encourage a bunch of students as they stress about their rather unimportant grade and test. I love encouraging them when they look up at me, almost all of them do at some point. I usually will try out my new funny faces on them, or just revert back to some classics like "the high eye brows," or the "semi smile," or the "wide mouth," or the "shoulder shrug to eye role to standing and doing a back flip off the desk"... i might change that one to "The Pecos." I have been working on my Korinne face, the awkward "i'm confused, and a little disappointed" look, but it just hasn't come to fruition yet, at its not the most encouraging during an exam. Maybe I'll have to get some training from her.
One of my favorite things about proctoring is just watching people's reactions. I had no idea people had such similar reactions, i think i recognize all their faces and actions as something i have done before too. The "look at the ceiling an talk to yourself," the "head super glued to palm until i remember this little detail i studied," or the "oh gosh... I'm hungover, and i think someone knows it" (that one i haven't experienced so much... or at all really), "or the "if i just keep staring I will remember, if i just keep staring i will remember... if i just keep staring i will.... HEY I REMEMBER!!". But anyway, this is just an example of a continued life lesson i am learning.
People react similarly and very basic tendencies. And, i am not crazy for just acting as i feel or reacting as i do sometimes, for that is all these people in front of me are doing. But, this is always counterbalanced with the truth that people are soooo different from me, and each other. What i know is different than what someone else knows, and my reaction is going to be different. I need to be confident in who i am, and focused in my present moment, not matter what that may be, reacting honestly, but also evaluating that reaction, and interpreting. Sometime, i can trust my reactions immediately, other times i need to keep my mouth shut and evaluate before speaking or acting. It is an ebb and flow, a trial and error process. There are going to be mistakes, and successes. Life is so complex, and so very simple. There is nothing like the human life.
Random: Everybody thinks and feels. Everybody determines what they feel based on how they think sometimes, and everybody determines what they think based on how they feel sometimes. The question is just which one comes first more frequently. I think it is based on which chemicals in the brain are exercised more and have been exercised more through out thier life. Since there is a history of practice and neurological path ways established (based on those chemical reactions) then those paths are more frequently taken over the other, and it is easier for that person to take that path. This theory is based on a few things: 1, very little knowledge on the details of psychoneurology. 2, people are creatures, and alike all other creatures, will most commonly react how it is easiest for the body to react; In other words, people are lazy. 3, That it actually is easier to react primarily one of the processes (i.e. thought to feel, or feel to thought) before the other. I think people could sit and control thier reactions and actions if given the time to dwell, and that does not make them a thinker for doing so, for both much feeling and thinking would occur.
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Duece Duece and a napkidding.
So thus concludes the best birthday i have ever had. Pssshhh, and they say Disneyland is the happiest place on Earth, well i wasn't there today as i thought i would be, and i have never been happier. I love birthdays because they give you land marks to reflect upon the past year from, much like Christmas and every widely celebrated holiday i guess. But i was thinking back to last year and the party in Hieronymus Lounge and the events that followed. That was truly an incredible day, and a blessed time. At that point in life, i said to myself, "this is the best life has ever been, and its only going to keep getting better." Today, nearing the end of the 24 hours of constant blessings, i found myself repeating the words, and remembering that i said them last year, and sincerely thanking God that he has brought be through another year and i am able to say the same thing in even more confidence than before. God's faithfulness gives me hope for the future.
Here is how the day transpired.
I woke up and had a grand breakfast during a chit-chat with Katie, and then i spent my morning with the Lord until class started. After hearing Kihlstrom rant on about Spring Sing in his typical hilarious fashion, i went to Chapel. At the time, i thought this was the best gift i could receive on a birthday. I was given the opportunity to serve those whom i love so much and wash people's feet.
*Tangent
It caused me to think about which was harder for my pride to humble itself to, letting your feet be washed, or washing someone else's feet. For me it is the former. But true humility does not distinguish, it simply is lack of shame and pride in all circumstances, and being willing to accept and serve in all as well.
*End Tangent
But anyway, my heart broke this morning out of joy when i looked up into a few particular faces before i washed their feet. We were bonded a harmonious chord in the water as our hands and feet met, each providing love for the other to receive. I truly understood this when my feet were washed, not once, but twice. This experience in Chapel was heavy and rich, and i processing it is easier and justified just in the memory and accepting its vastness; as much as i would like to try to describe it, it doesn't need words to make it complete or fully understood.
Then i enjoyed good company with someone i had been meaning to catch up with, he treated me to a home cooked grilled cheese sandwich and tomato soup, it was delectable and much enjoyed. I then came back from his apartment to the Westmont library and spent the next hour and a half reading some of C.S. Lewis, could i have picked a better author for the day?
The next hour and a half was spent with a good friend, one i have much future hope for, one whom i love and care about much. We lifted some metal together and then enjoyed a run. This lead nicely into a Clark BBQ where i was met with many faces and cheers of happy birthdays. A burger and fruit salad never tasted so good then when your body is a bit sore and cotton mouth is creeping up. It was typical Clark BBQ, full of laughs, dancing, music, and just good ole chillin. Oh, and Korinne and i had quite a lot of fun figuring out what my invitation to Spring Formal is going to be.
Towards the end of the BBQ my brother showed up, and that was a pleasant surprise. We reconvened later that night after he listened to the lecture he came for and i did some studying. He left when it came time for Vida groups, and that's when the real trouble started...
We awaited for the arrival of a few members, cracking jokes and having a grand time. Pecos walks in the room and announces that he is going to give me "something." He had forewarned me about his giving earlier, and at this point i thought he was going to give me something really sweet that he made, like painting. So i stood to face him, and he asked me put my hands behind my back. I hesitated and asked him not to hit me in the groin, and then after his assurance i put them behind my back. At this point i had no idea what it was, and was racking my brain trying to figure out why my hands had to be behind my back for whatever he was going to give me. But immediately after my hands were halfway back behind me, they were grabbed and restrained by all of my guys that had showed up that night. And if you don't know the average height and weight in my section is about 6'2'' 200 lbs of muscle. So as much as i wanna convince myself that i could have gotten away, the fact is that the completely dominated me. Within a minute my hands were duct-tapped behind my back, my feet together, my eyes were blindfolded, and my mouth tapped shut (and at that moment i thanked God for Spring Sing, simply because it compelled me to shave). So after giving in and now fearing for my life that i will soon be tapped to a tree, or pantless, or dropped off a cliff like Aladdin (minus the genie), or all of the above which should give you the image a falling tree crying out for a lamp for help as it plummets into the oceans deep... Ya, thank God that didn't happen. Instead, i was hucked into the bed of Pecos' truck face down a sweatshirt (that was so nice of them), and then left to the company of Josh and the rushing wind which left me feeling quite vulnerable, especially when the whizzing increased and i realized that i was speeding in the back of an open bed on the freeway going 65+ miles an hour. At this point i didn't know whether we were headed North or South, all i knew was that i could easily be killed, and i was thankful to God for every moment thus far, and if i was going to die, then i was happy to go out this way and prepared to go home. But also, i thought of how hilarious it would be to be pulled over by the cops. I'll just let your imagination run with that one.
So when the car finally came to a halt, i was hoisted upon two men's shoulders and carried like a pig to a fire pit inside, where i heard many familiar voices and was so excited to know who and where i was. I was seated down and the blindfold was removed. Then before my eyes so many many faces of people whom i love appeared and rang out the charming melody of Happy Birthday. I looked around and caught a sign that said "Fro yo-yum-yum." So many unexpected faces as smiling back gave me such a great joy, the smile never left my face, and even when i returned i had to just sit alone and let my facial muscles relax. There have been times when i felt my heart grow warm, but in this moment, on this day, and the rest of the evening and even now as i type, my heart isn't just warm, its glowing like the coals you love to roast marshmallows on. The coals coals that glow and you feel at any moment the touch of them upon any material would set it a blaze, and the beauty of a flame would strike up. I think that's maybe a better metaphor for us as Christians that fire. We are coals, and we ignite each other when in community. I'm not going to expand that much more right now, but i hope to live that way, that i would be so joyful inside, that i would ignite with every interaction.
The night concluded with a very joyous CRAM (Clark RA meeting), in which we all shared cake, and talked about middle names a residence business, typical random awesome RA stuff. I'm glad i got to see them, i love them very much. So now i sit in bed, reveling in this most excellent day. A day which, as if the ridiculous number of text messages and facebook comments wasn't enough, i was reminded that i am severely loved by people, and through them, severely loved by God. But, i think the most important part of the day came in Chapel, the time when Christ was focused on, and we as a body came together in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, and without him, this day would have never been this way, God's holiness, love, redemption was truly evident on this day.
Here is how the day transpired.
I woke up and had a grand breakfast during a chit-chat with Katie, and then i spent my morning with the Lord until class started. After hearing Kihlstrom rant on about Spring Sing in his typical hilarious fashion, i went to Chapel. At the time, i thought this was the best gift i could receive on a birthday. I was given the opportunity to serve those whom i love so much and wash people's feet.
*Tangent
It caused me to think about which was harder for my pride to humble itself to, letting your feet be washed, or washing someone else's feet. For me it is the former. But true humility does not distinguish, it simply is lack of shame and pride in all circumstances, and being willing to accept and serve in all as well.
*End Tangent
But anyway, my heart broke this morning out of joy when i looked up into a few particular faces before i washed their feet. We were bonded a harmonious chord in the water as our hands and feet met, each providing love for the other to receive. I truly understood this when my feet were washed, not once, but twice. This experience in Chapel was heavy and rich, and i processing it is easier and justified just in the memory and accepting its vastness; as much as i would like to try to describe it, it doesn't need words to make it complete or fully understood.
Then i enjoyed good company with someone i had been meaning to catch up with, he treated me to a home cooked grilled cheese sandwich and tomato soup, it was delectable and much enjoyed. I then came back from his apartment to the Westmont library and spent the next hour and a half reading some of C.S. Lewis, could i have picked a better author for the day?
The next hour and a half was spent with a good friend, one i have much future hope for, one whom i love and care about much. We lifted some metal together and then enjoyed a run. This lead nicely into a Clark BBQ where i was met with many faces and cheers of happy birthdays. A burger and fruit salad never tasted so good then when your body is a bit sore and cotton mouth is creeping up. It was typical Clark BBQ, full of laughs, dancing, music, and just good ole chillin. Oh, and Korinne and i had quite a lot of fun figuring out what my invitation to Spring Formal is going to be.
Towards the end of the BBQ my brother showed up, and that was a pleasant surprise. We reconvened later that night after he listened to the lecture he came for and i did some studying. He left when it came time for Vida groups, and that's when the real trouble started...
We awaited for the arrival of a few members, cracking jokes and having a grand time. Pecos walks in the room and announces that he is going to give me "something." He had forewarned me about his giving earlier, and at this point i thought he was going to give me something really sweet that he made, like painting. So i stood to face him, and he asked me put my hands behind my back. I hesitated and asked him not to hit me in the groin, and then after his assurance i put them behind my back. At this point i had no idea what it was, and was racking my brain trying to figure out why my hands had to be behind my back for whatever he was going to give me. But immediately after my hands were halfway back behind me, they were grabbed and restrained by all of my guys that had showed up that night. And if you don't know the average height and weight in my section is about 6'2'' 200 lbs of muscle. So as much as i wanna convince myself that i could have gotten away, the fact is that the completely dominated me. Within a minute my hands were duct-tapped behind my back, my feet together, my eyes were blindfolded, and my mouth tapped shut (and at that moment i thanked God for Spring Sing, simply because it compelled me to shave). So after giving in and now fearing for my life that i will soon be tapped to a tree, or pantless, or dropped off a cliff like Aladdin (minus the genie), or all of the above which should give you the image a falling tree crying out for a lamp for help as it plummets into the oceans deep... Ya, thank God that didn't happen. Instead, i was hucked into the bed of Pecos' truck face down a sweatshirt (that was so nice of them), and then left to the company of Josh and the rushing wind which left me feeling quite vulnerable, especially when the whizzing increased and i realized that i was speeding in the back of an open bed on the freeway going 65+ miles an hour. At this point i didn't know whether we were headed North or South, all i knew was that i could easily be killed, and i was thankful to God for every moment thus far, and if i was going to die, then i was happy to go out this way and prepared to go home. But also, i thought of how hilarious it would be to be pulled over by the cops. I'll just let your imagination run with that one.
So when the car finally came to a halt, i was hoisted upon two men's shoulders and carried like a pig to a fire pit inside, where i heard many familiar voices and was so excited to know who and where i was. I was seated down and the blindfold was removed. Then before my eyes so many many faces of people whom i love appeared and rang out the charming melody of Happy Birthday. I looked around and caught a sign that said "Fro yo-yum-yum." So many unexpected faces as smiling back gave me such a great joy, the smile never left my face, and even when i returned i had to just sit alone and let my facial muscles relax. There have been times when i felt my heart grow warm, but in this moment, on this day, and the rest of the evening and even now as i type, my heart isn't just warm, its glowing like the coals you love to roast marshmallows on. The coals coals that glow and you feel at any moment the touch of them upon any material would set it a blaze, and the beauty of a flame would strike up. I think that's maybe a better metaphor for us as Christians that fire. We are coals, and we ignite each other when in community. I'm not going to expand that much more right now, but i hope to live that way, that i would be so joyful inside, that i would ignite with every interaction.
The night concluded with a very joyous CRAM (Clark RA meeting), in which we all shared cake, and talked about middle names a residence business, typical random awesome RA stuff. I'm glad i got to see them, i love them very much. So now i sit in bed, reveling in this most excellent day. A day which, as if the ridiculous number of text messages and facebook comments wasn't enough, i was reminded that i am severely loved by people, and through them, severely loved by God. But, i think the most important part of the day came in Chapel, the time when Christ was focused on, and we as a body came together in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, and without him, this day would have never been this way, God's holiness, love, redemption was truly evident on this day.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)