A moment of humor.

Work is changing. This week there was a lot more chitchat in the trailer between my boss, a subcontractor, and myself this week. There was one moment that stands out above the others.

Inside our dusty trailer my boss and i were reclined and talking about something or other. I'm not really sure what; it could have been anything under the sun including current events, previous crazy experiences, funny stories, a joke, or something legitimately concerning our job site. Basically, we were "BS-ing" as usual (which is actually more educational than you would think).
My boss BS-es a lot, and with just about everybody. But that is one of his very effective tricks in supervising. You see, when a story is shared between two people, particularly people on different levels of business hierarchy (i.e. a boss and employee), there is an interesting connection that forms. BS-ing usually results in the listener of the story liking and feeling more comfortable with the teller. But the teller (usually the boss) still feels no pity to lessen any business or load of duty, simply because a story has been told, this still leaves him ultimately in control (or he has "Hand" as they would say in Seinfeld). Neither feel particularly close to one another after the story, nor do they even like each other more. Its a way of creating a business relationship. Nothing personal is shared and your remain fairly invulnerable to the other party. Your guts aren't spilled and nor is there often a lesson taught or a point disputed. A simple eccentric story is told, and usually the characters might as well have aliases. The story simply creates ground to interact with each other on, without necessitating a liking, nor negating or confusing possible roles. This is very key, for once the line of friendship is possibly breached, things become complicated. One party feels more comfortable to antagonize, argue, or simply deny a request. A party also can feel like more compelled to comply with a request, but this is rare. But when enough BS-ing does go on between one party or another, a friendship can be formed. My boss is included in enough of the stories he tells me that i have actually gotten to know him quite well. This is probably because i would because i have already shown my faithful obedience to the job and there is no fear in crossing the "danger friend zone" in the relationship. Otherwise i would probably lose my job, if ever chose to refuse orders.

So during one of these moments after lunch, Steve the framer stepped into the trailer with his toothless grin and looked at us both. Steve often comes in stealing food or just looking for a joke or a light of a smoke. He is a comical fellow, and always welcome. My boss said smirkingly, "What do you want?"

Steve replied, "I want some of your peanuts."

I responded, "You're always after someone's peanuts." At first they both grinned and were a bit shocked, for this was one of the first times i and divulged my humour to them. Then they both went into a large belly laugh, the kind that warms the heart and reminds children of Santa Clause. Steve, even amongst being the butt of the joke, turned and reached his hand out to be clasped in a manly, congratulatory way. I accepted it.

bracelet

Today is that day. The day when a fresh cycle of style begins. The day when a part of me feels cold and naked. A day when I long simultaneously for the newness and aged relationship between me and a friend. Today is that day when I cut the bracelet, revealing a full four season's worth of solid tan-line. Alike the lazy circular form that hung from my wrist, change is a continuous and never ending cycle. After a certain distance we are accustom to the change, and then it only becomes a pattern, and is again repeated. Today is the day when i cut my actual bracelet. Memories are still present, but the reminder is not. The compliments will still come, just not from that old attention grabber. I hope to reconstruct a replica soon, so the cycle can begin again.

Home to house to house to Home

Well world, I am back, burned red, and set for action. The past week has been a bit hypocritical. The places that I was expecting to find relaxing only provided and fulfilled opportunity to be busy, and relaxation too the back seat. First, i was home for the sister's high school graduation. If you have been back to your old high school, you probably know the awkward, nostalgic feeling that it is. But it was a little hectic with her party and everything. So i drove home with my brother and arrived about 10pm, spent twenty minutes at my apartment to collect my things, and then went over to begin my house sit at Tremper Longman's house. I dubbed their enormous and well fu(e)rnished garden (its a pun, get it...) "The Garden of Eden" and their blooming plum tree "The Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil." Oh how i love R.S. nerd jokes. The 20 plus year old structure, cleanliness, and antique decorations thoroughly reminded me of my grandparents house. But the dog livened things up with its constant golden retriever energy. It was a blessing to be in a house and know the experience of the comfort of your own home filled with a luscious garden. The flip side to that is the upkeep of the garden, which is actually well worth it. I ended up not relaxing there as much as i expected. I had many accompaniments thoughout the week, sharing a good thing makes it a great thing. There are so many things i could say about that week, but I have only come to a few conclusions. 1) I want a hot tub when I have my own home. 2) I want a dog, but I'm not sure i want a golden retriever, since while walking their dog i was kindly reminded by an elderly lady that the dog matches my hair. 3) I want fruit trees in a my yard. 4) People make a house a home. 5) Dr. Longman is awesome, and so is his living establishment.
Leaving many many fun details aside, I have finally found my rest back in my lovely apartment in Carpinteria.

PS: Read "The Brothers K" It will make you LOL, cry, and then want to do it again... and your wish will be fulfilled in a surprising way.

Few Poems

Ok, so i was sitting at the beach today soaking in the blessing of serenity and calmness that lies a 60 second walk away from me. Here are my observations amidst enjoying a splendorous book.
Two Poems:

My first look up
Wind tickles the hair of my chest.
While white wings like lightening plunge their beaks into the sea,
an orange orb ducks behind a tree to hide it's beams.

I looked left as saw a couple at work
A pair waddle like penguins,
water rushes inches from their shuffle,
but their synchronous swing pervades
the rhythmic waves,
of salt water
and large portioned diets.

7 days travelled past the fork... i shoulda picked it up

Howdie,
Here i sit sprawled across my living room floor in my brand new apartment. I am living with a solid crew, Rhyno, Engleman, Diva Drew, Johnny C, Craigory, and we had the honor of Robby G's presence for a little, but he drove to our home in Sac this morning. The apartment is awesome, cheap, a 25 second walk from the beach (which i plan to take full advantage of), soon to be fully furnished, relaxing and lively all at once, and spacious shown even in fact that we have two bathrooms for the six of us (better ratios than Westmont). I am definitely feeling the May gloom, and wish the sun would come out and brighten my life, but i guess to play on a cheesy metaphor, the Son came out 2000 years ago, and i need to remember that and allow the rays of His spirit to brighten my life... but common on Big Yellow, get the picture and push those clouds out of the way, bring the heat!

It has been a very difficult week, i am understanding the anxiety of life in a world where you are dependant on the money an occupation to live, to survive. Of course i could go and be a world traveller, paying next to nothing and living with next to nothing, but that stage may come in time, probably in 4 months when i leave to Africa. For now, it is good to know, feel, and understand the reality of this anxiety, and relate to the rest of the working world, which holds the majority of the population strongly, so that i can better love and minister to those people. That has been a great challenge thus far, having the courage, confidence, and love to serve those who i am working with at the constructions sites. For those of you that don't know, i am the assistant superintendent at the construction of the faculties home's near Westmont. It is a blessing to have a job, but it would also be a blessings to actually have some work that i felt useful at, and my well-spring of potential being tapped. That will take some patience, and i must continue to seek God in this time, and love Him and the people around me more than ever. Simply because it is the hardest time to do so, and at those difficult moments, when you have one hand on the tip of the cliff and your body flailing below, when that hand is most important. Right now, faith, service, diligence, concentration, trust, patience, and every spiritual discipline of Christianity, is that hand. I'm glad Christ is the rock i am grasped to. Maybe the metaphor would be more accurate if Christ was on top of the cliff and grasped firm to my forearm, for our God is a living and moving God.

All that being said, i miss Westmont already. I am not having withdrawals, but i do sincerely miss it. I know that the one thing i will continually miss is Chapel, and the walks around campus. I know that currently, miss my RA Staff, my guys, the classes, and the freedom to be constrained in our schedule. I am finding that those who clog their schedules at Westmont, whom i am apart of, are actually expressing their freedom righteously, for later in life we are unable to clog our schedule with such blessed things that Westmont offers, and taking advantage of them is wise. I can't wait for the day when i get that freedom again. I think it will come most weekends, and in Africa. More details on the Africa trip are pending, and will be unfolded in good time.

Book references: A Severe Mercy by Sheldon Vanouken (including letters from C.S. Lewis); 1 and 2 Timothy by St. Paul

Current Reading: The Brothers K by David James Duncan

PS: I get to house sit/dog sit at Tremper Longman's house. I can't wait. I think if i was going to go to seminary right now, i would go into Old Testament Studies. I am realizing that i am really interested and like that stuff a lot. I should have understood this last year when i took my OT class.

Question to all you graduates: What two major's w0uld you take if you could do Westmont again. My answer, after much deliberation, would be English and Kinesiology

Current Favorite Qoute: "It is not who you know, but whome you know." Unknown

oh Westmont.

Here is a little poem for you all Westmont people.

DTR (determine the relationship)
It's come to be that time
when the garden needs water
when warm sheets need a friend
when stars need to rise
over the great expanse, a blanket is spread
containing a millions of twinkles
and two below resting on a blanket.

Lazy Thursday

Welp, if i had to pick a theme song for the last two weeks it would be "Roller Coaster." And if i had to pick a movie scene, it would probably be Will Farrell playing Ron Burgundy in Anchorman right after his dog Baxter gets kicked off a bridge, he is hysterically (in both meanings) screaming at the top of his lungs, "I'm in a glass case of emotion!!!!!!"
On another note, I love proctoring exams. It pays well, i get two hours to do homework or something else such as blogging, and i get to encourage a bunch of students as they stress about their rather unimportant grade and test. I love encouraging them when they look up at me, almost all of them do at some point. I usually will try out my new funny faces on them, or just revert back to some classics like "the high eye brows," or the "semi smile," or the "wide mouth," or the "shoulder shrug to eye role to standing and doing a back flip off the desk"... i might change that one to "The Pecos." I have been working on my Korinne face, the awkward "i'm confused, and a little disappointed" look, but it just hasn't come to fruition yet, at its not the most encouraging during an exam. Maybe I'll have to get some training from her.
One of my favorite things about proctoring is just watching people's reactions. I had no idea people had such similar reactions, i think i recognize all their faces and actions as something i have done before too. The "look at the ceiling an talk to yourself," the "head super glued to palm until i remember this little detail i studied," or the "oh gosh... I'm hungover, and i think someone knows it" (that one i haven't experienced so much... or at all really), "or the "if i just keep staring I will remember, if i just keep staring i will remember... if i just keep staring i will.... HEY I REMEMBER!!". But anyway, this is just an example of a continued life lesson i am learning.
People react similarly and very basic tendencies. And, i am not crazy for just acting as i feel or reacting as i do sometimes, for that is all these people in front of me are doing. But, this is always counterbalanced with the truth that people are soooo different from me, and each other. What i know is different than what someone else knows, and my reaction is going to be different. I need to be confident in who i am, and focused in my present moment, not matter what that may be, reacting honestly, but also evaluating that reaction, and interpreting. Sometime, i can trust my reactions immediately, other times i need to keep my mouth shut and evaluate before speaking or acting. It is an ebb and flow, a trial and error process. There are going to be mistakes, and successes. Life is so complex, and so very simple. There is nothing like the human life.
Random: Everybody thinks and feels. Everybody determines what they feel based on how they think sometimes, and everybody determines what they think based on how they feel sometimes. The question is just which one comes first more frequently. I think it is based on which chemicals in the brain are exercised more and have been exercised more through out thier life. Since there is a history of practice and neurological path ways established (based on those chemical reactions) then those paths are more frequently taken over the other, and it is easier for that person to take that path. This theory is based on a few things: 1, very little knowledge on the details of psychoneurology. 2, people are creatures, and alike all other creatures, will most commonly react how it is easiest for the body to react; In other words, people are lazy. 3, That it actually is easier to react primarily one of the processes (i.e. thought to feel, or feel to thought) before the other. I think people could sit and control thier reactions and actions if given the time to dwell, and that does not make them a thinker for doing so, for both much feeling and thinking would occur.